Sample chapters in files

I read it. There is a lot of political and social
commentary shoved in, and I think it might be better
to spread that out a bit. I would certainly not
suggest getting rid of it altogether, of course.
My entire 58,000 words and counting "Coach Michaels"
saga is built around my political and social
commentary, and there's no way I'd let anybody talk
me into throwing that out. But you've done it so
thickly that it's getting in the way of the story.

There are considerable spelling and formatting
errors, but some additional proofreading and an
editor will take care of that.

Your writing style is a bit difficult for me. That
doesn't mean that it isn't any good; it just means
it isn't for me.

I like how you you're keeping the tech near-term and
plausible. No magic pixie dust, no unobtainium.
Your descriptions of Crystal Palace are nice, and so was
the elevator ride. The fact that you're working in some
history (Civil War, etc.) is pretty cool, too.

Hope I'm not coming across as mean, but, well, you did
ask us to tell you what we think, so I've tried to do
that. The good, the bad, and the ugly.